4/16

April 16, 2012

Two years ago I didn't know
I was basically selling my soul to the devil
marking this day in my diary so I'd never forget 
but now I wish I did
but what did I know?
I thought no harm could be done.

Maybe if I had kept my mouth shut
we would've never even crossed paths,
just two ships in the night passing.

730 days ago I didn't know that
I'd be drowning in such disappointment and regret
asking myself, Jada why did you even say anything at all?
but I had no idea that for 17,520 hours
you'd be the main character in my stories
Now I get five days of silence.
You act as if I've never seen parts of you
that aren't visible to the naked eye
so now I have to tell myself that it never happened
because I figured if I don't talk about it
it'll just go away
you would just evaporate
and our memories would be dreams that I won't remember in the morning.

1,051,200...
Minutes...

of you existing, in me.

The butterflies inside my stomach now make me sick.
I didn't have my heart set on forever
but my grandmother said that love is eternal
And you made me believe it.

April 16, 2014.
I play dress up and paint my face 
to hide the tracks of my tears
and the evidence of sleepless nights under my eyes
and pretend that you never existed.

This day was supposed to be important.
Now I'm just hoping that like you,
I could forget too.