Sleep doesn't even belong to me anymore--
it belongs to us, or more so you than me.
Conversations now only exist beyond the real world every night,
climbing into bed alone in silence only to somehow find myself in you again
but then waking up to you being so far away--physically and emotionally.
I feel like I've just seen you, heard you laugh, felt your touch
only to realize that those moments are just figments of my subconscious.
You're not even real, and yet I wake and find myself missing you
or being upset over something you've said.
Whatever happened to sleep belonging to me?
Displaying my deepest desires, showing me what to make of my circumstances...
Are you now over-powering my desires and my circumstances?
You have way too much control over my mind, my feelings;
I can't stop thinking.
I can't stop feeling
Nothing seems to belong to me anymore.
Now the one moment I find peace you somehow meet me there--
whether it be a smile or a scowl.
Either I dread sleep or I look forward to it, it doesn't matter.
All roads lead right back to you.
I used to love sleeping,
escaping from my harsh reality into what seemed like perfection.
But now when I think I'm escaping my reality,
it's there in my dreams, slyly smiling in my face.
Dear Readers,
I've made it a point to walk on the grass whenever I'm walking around campus. Not only have I noticed that it has cut my traveling time to and from classes down significantly, I simply love how the grass feels under my feet. Today, I walked through some grass and passed under this big tree. For that brief moment, I was taken back to the spring and summer months I had spent so much time under trees in the park with a friend, talking and laughing as if no time existed. I found something poetic about it but couldn't find the right words to create a poem, so I'm writing this. It was during that time I was able to connect so deeply with this friend, where many of my heart-felt poems were born, and where I've realized marked a significant change in my life. I just felt like sharing since I haven't found anything to write.
Have any of you been writing? Share with me if you'd like!
--Jay
Readers, hello!
As you all know, I just started my second year of college, and in these last two weeks, I have been ridiculously busy! I haven't really had any down time to really write, although something potentially may be in the works (stay tuned!). It feels like I haven't even been here for two weeks; it feels much longer! I've been having so much fun, and my suitemates are just dolls! Shout out to them (hey y'all!). It seems as though my second year is going to be much, much better than my first, and I am so excited for it!
Go ahead and reread some of your old favorites; I know that's what I'll do once I finally get a chance to sit and relax. Also, I love doing Poet/Artist Spotlights, so please don't hesitate to email me or text me (if you have my number) and ask me to feature your piece. Don't feel intimidated either; I love supporting other artists and their work.
XOXO,
Jay
