Saturday, June 6, 2015

Wanted: Have You Seen Her?

I am looking for a girl and I'm wondering if you have seen her:

She was wearing her heart on her right sleeve
Dragging beaten baggage through the streets
When he picked her up
You may notice the brokenness in her smile
From when he tore himself from her lips
You may hear her cry in the way she laughs
She won't let anyone touch her
Because she is way too fragile already
Look out for closed doors and bed sheets
Because that's where she's used to him keeping her
She probably won't come out
If you call her name
So tell her what he used to tell her
That he loved her
That she was beautiful
And I swear she will think it is him
And fix herself up good enough to love him
All over again
Because she believes in him the way Christians believe in God
Asking Him for forgiveness for whatever He deemed as sinful
Praying to him the way he had preyed on her 
Her sun-kissed skin is probably bloody, beaten, and bruised
She is having a hard time forgiving herself
For loving him for too long
She may be really sick
Trying to starve his memory out of her body
Throwing up his smile, his laugh, his eyes
The way he kissed her
And the way he touched her
How his heart felt when she laid her cheek against his hollow chest
How he held her heart in his palm and crushed it like paper
Please find her before he does again
She will consume him like the body of Christ on First Sundays
Swallow his "I missed you" and "Damn you still look good" 
And ask him, "God, why have you forsaken me?" 
She will smell the other women on him
And still be convinced that hers is still the strongest
Tell herself that he came back again because he loved her
Not that he just doesn't have his shit together
She will want to help him because
This is what she defines love as
No one has ever told her she can't help somebody who is that broken
She is probably waiting at a bus stop
Convinced that he is just running a little late this time
But he will come the way he came so many times before
She thinks she has that kind of effect on him
Or she is probably sitting in a cafe
Writing him into her poetry again
Because she knows he hates what she has to say about him
And he will come find her and tell her just that
Or she is running from him again
Because he embarrassed her again
Said that he loved her again
Pulled her into a hug again
Kissed her again
Made love to her again
But she found him singing the same song to someone else again
And told her "I think we should end this" again
Because he doesn't want to hurt her again
Because he cares too much about her again
But this isn't healthy for either one of them again
She has so many tattooed scars on her body
She won't even look at herself in the mirror anymore
Her eyes are probably so full of water
She'll want to drown in her tears tonight 
Like she did last night
And last week
And last month
And last year
All she does is cry at the moon and wonder
Why did he choose to do this to her
If I still know her as well as I did
I am certain she is sitting on the steps of a church
Trying to baptize herself into poetry
So that all of what she knew washes away.

If you find her, please tell her that I miss her.

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