Flashback Friday: Finding Girl: Synthesis of Dark Phrases by Ntozake Shange

This poem is about two years old. At the time, I had fallen absolutely in love with the movie, For Colored Girls. I know a lot of people cannot watch that movie because it is so much to take in, but I watched it because of the poetry. I researched for days on who was the writer behind these beautiful pieces and discovered that it was Ntozake Shange. I immediately begged my mother to take me to Barnes & Noble, and I purchased her chorepoem, for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf. I was so captivated by the language and the stories of the characters that I took it upon myself to memorize some of the poetry in the movie (the one I got down-packed was Loretta Devine's towards the end!). I decided to write a poem incorporating lines from one of hers. I plan on doing some sort of reprise of this really soon! Enjoy!

“dark phrases of womanhood, of never havin been a girl”
i am black woman, who has seen the darkest of dark times
times woman can only see
“half-notes scattered, without rhythm/no tune”
my body used and thrown away
my love tampered with, my mind gone
i am all but whole
pieces of me stolen
my song now a distant melody
my ears strain to hear my broken music
“distraught laughter fallin over a black girl’s shoulder”
my sanity now gone
but i smile in their faces
the woman cannot be weak
especially if her skin is of the night sky
“it’s funny/it’s hysterical the melody-less-ness of her dance”
and they laugh at the way i move
the graceful swifts of my arms
contradicting the quick impulsive steps of my short legs
i dance this way for My Love has become nothing
but a contradiction
“don’t tell nobody don’t tell a soul”
the secret rendezvous i’ve had with My Love
deprived me of the little pride i had left
the temptation to proclaim my love was silenced
and now
“i can’t hear anything but maddening screams
and the soft strains of death”
i had given all of myself
in return for the death of my being
i saw my contradictory Love after my demise
wondering why i wasn’t recognizable
“you promised me, you promised somebody/anybody, sing a black girl’s song”
sing me my song, i told My Love
“sing her rhythms, caring/struggle/hard times, sing her song of life”
I am black woman who has seen the darkest of dark times
inflicted upon me
by the Love that had stolen my black girl’s song
“she’s been dead so long, closed in silence so long
she doesn’t know the sound of her own voice, her infinite beauty”
a new sound escapes from me
my own voice 
my inner black girl
“let her be born”
“let her be born and handled warmly”
i give her life

And forever she will live

Flashback Friday: Self-Portrait as 16-Year-Old Phoenix

This poem is about three years old. At that time I was going through major changes, so the image of a phoenix was simply perfect to describe that. Enjoy!

She scorns her reflection,

frowning at the girl locked in the

glass. Angry at the creature she has

become, with a swift movement of

her small hands ignites her skin, the

bright red flames climbing up her fingertips.

Her arms, legs, and feet immediately

crumble from the slight bite of the flames,

falling to ashes all around her. They engulf her

dark shirt, instantly turning it to embers. The

incandescent blaze crawls up her neck, encompassing

her face, leaving nothing behind. They lick

through her long hair, marring its beauty and

transforming it into black soot. All that is

left are the ashes where she stood. Then, the

ashes soften and become moist, forming

a pair of feet. Slowly, the dampened ashes

knit and fasten the new flesh of the rest

of her body. They converge and form

two almond-shaped eyes, a slim pair of lips,

a small rounded nose, and small hairs

falling over each other, creating thin dark

eyebrows. The wet ashes rise up to the top

of her head and braid fiery red strands

of hair down past her shoulders. A smile

crawls upon her face, for she has finally

eradicated the beast she had become.